My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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