You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
