His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
