I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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