You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
