After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
