my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
