the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think my mom watched the whole time
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
