I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize