What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
