I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
sarcasm needs its own font
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
did you just send me my own nude
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize