Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
