Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think my mom watched the whole time
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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