As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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