Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
