butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
