i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
