coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
