this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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