I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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