Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
