I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
