I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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