just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
