do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
