Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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