before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
