Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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