There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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