I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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