**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize