I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Let's get the cat blown out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize