I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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