just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
