The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
