I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
