Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
