You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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