hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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