can u get pink eye on your cock?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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