I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
