Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
