How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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