Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
