it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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