Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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