She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize