so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
