you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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