Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
