do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
