i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize