my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
