Already got asked if we're dating
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
