Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
