stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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